Aliyah l’Chupah: Meet the Parents

The mothers

There is something incredibly mind-boggling in making a wedding that two couples who might never have met, can come from totally different backgrounds, with different lifestyles, priorities and standards, have to suddenly come together and pull off what may be the biggest event they have ever made. Successful completion of which is often nothing short of a miracle.

Luckily we adore Shyra’s future in-laws. But that doesn’t erase the fact that they are proper, formal British folk, while we are coarse, vulgar Americans. If I had an unlimited budget I would happily hand over the reigns to someone else and just write a check at the end. Alright, I still wouldn’t do that, but I would dream about it… I mean after all, how do two entirely different families with entirely different ideas about what a wedding should be, with entirely different budgets, somehow work together to pull off this grand affair? And I’m not even talking about us – I mean ANY two couples making a wedding. And that’s not even taking into account the bride and the groom.

Oh well, I suppose millions of people manage it, and manage it well. Now it’s our turn. We can do this. We just need to start. And I’d say a good start would be to book a hall. We’re very flexible on dates, so that’s good. Just that it be in September, but not the first week, and not the last week, and preferably a Thursday, but not the 22nd because a friend’s wedding is that day, and not the Thursday before because Shabbos sheva brachot would be the weekend of a bar mitzvah, and not the Thursday before that because then the groom’s brother will miss the aufruf the week before, so… okay, so no Thursdays. What does that leave us? Can’t I just be an invited guest???

Sunday I’ll be going with groom’s mother to meet with M’samchim which apparently is the best way to book a hall. Good luck to us!

The fathers

About the Author

Laura Ben-David is the author of numerous articles and the book, MOVING UP: An Aliyah Journal, a memoir of her move to Israel. She has done public speaking about Israel and Aliyah all over the United States and Israel. Contact her at or follow her tweets at