The current buzz is all about that article by Jeffrey Goldberg called “Netanyahu Government Suggests Israelis Avoid Marrying American Jews” in The Atlantic. In it, Goldberg writes about the current ad campaign being run by Israel’s Ministry of Immigrant Absorption, targeting expatriate Israelis in the States to come back to Israel. Goldberg reports that, ‘The Jewish Channel, which broke the story of what it calls a “semi-covert national campaign,” suggests that the Ministry [of Immigrant Absorption] does not differentiate between the “dangers” of marrying American Jews, and American non-Jews, and I have to agree.’ Well I have to disagree. In fact, Jeffrey Goldberg is wrong.
Israel is not, as Goldberg suggests, showing contempt for American Jews. Nor for America or any Americans. The Ministry is simply telling it like it is – take it as you wish. If you’re a Jewish Israeli and you leave Israel, something WILL get lost. Maybe now, maybe next generation, but it will happen. How many of us Americans originate from countries outside of the US? What’s left of THAT culture in our lives? Maybe it wasn’t important to us Jews. But being Jewish is. And being Jewish in Israel is unlike being Jewish in any other country in the world. Yes, including America. So yes, if you are Jewish and you live in Israel you WILL have the ultimate Jewish experience. And if you LEAVE Israel, you WILL lose something. These commercials are putting it out there.
If an Israeli goes to the United States and gets married there, whether he marries a Jew or a non-Jew, the chances of him returning to Israel drops that much further. He becomes that much more anchored to America. That is simply a fact.
Can a Jew celebrate Chanukah in America? Absolutely. But can you prevent your holiday from being overshadowed by the thoroughly national celebration of Christmas? Maybe if you live in a hole.
Goldberg finds it ridiculous that ‘Dafna,’ the girl mourning Israel’s war and terror losses on Israel’s Memorial Day, cannot adequately explain this to her American boyfriend. Come on: Memorial Day in America is about barbecues and shopping. In Israel there is hardly a person here who has not been touched by the losses commemorated on that day. Believe me, ‘the Josh-character’ can NOT relate.
Goldberg indignantly claims one who says ‘a Jew who is concerned about the Jewish future should live in Israel,’ is ‘archaic, and also chutzpadik.’ Archaic? Chutzpadik? I’m sorry, Mr. Goldberg, for being an archaic, chutzpadik Jew. Personally, I believe our chutzpah has served us well over the years. But really, do I have to explain that one? Jewish future in a Jewish homeland vs. Jewish future in a vastly overwhelmingly non-Jewish country… Tough one.
This is contempt for America? No, it is reality. We love America. Yes, I left, but I love and appreciate everything America stands for and what it has given to several generations of my family. It was my home. But it is not our Home. There is no place in the world that can replace Israel in the heart of the Jewish nation. But if one stays long enough it can replace Israel in one’s soul. Isn’t that worth placing a few ads and commercials?
Laura Ben-David is the author of numerous articles and the book, MOVING UP: An Aliyah Journal, a memoir of her move to Israel. She has done public speaking about Israel and Aliyah all over the United States and Israel. Contact her at laura@aliyahbook.com or follow her tweets at http://www.twitter.com/laurabendavd 
I agree fully with what you said.
I saw both videos when they came out and I thought they were right on target.
I find it disturbing that not only is he misinterpreting the points of the videos,
he is also taking pot shots at the Netanyahu and Rabbis.
“Netanyahu Government Suggests….”
“many of its rabbis act like Iranian mullahs”
His comment that “intermarriage can also be understood as an opportunity”
is the ultimate slap in the face to Judaism.
Thanks Jacob. Appreciate the support. His article just struck me as so wrong.
Nice article, Laura.
Thank you, Rebekah
I find this campaign disgusting.
It divides Jews.
I can ask American Jews in New York tomorrow night for money to help injured IDF soldiers but cannot even think to date one? Nor have the opportunity to describe my Israeli culture to her and her family?
As a Cross-Cultural and international media consultant, I can say that this ad works against Israel. It alienates Jews. The ad should have featured positives such as employment, the beaches, the parks, the holidays, the food, the history and so much more … not the negatives.
I will comment further on Google News.
You are right that Israel needs to focus on the positives, and should entice people to come ‘back’ rather than ‘leave’. But I don’t think there is any part of the campaign saying ‘don’t date American Jews’. The point is, ‘if you leave Israel there is much to lose. Take that how you take it.’ If it resonates for someone, well that’s the person the ad was targeted to.
Terrific post.
Unfortunately Mr. Goldberg is so far gone that he doesn’t realize that his article actually proves the videos to be correct.
He should have a “refua shelayma”.
Clearly you are showing your contempt and that of the Israeli government, for Americans, American Jewry, and the financial aid the US has been sending Israel for years.
Next you’ll write that Jews aren’t “real” Jews unless they live in Israel…or maybe you’ll bash patralineal decent and Reform Jews.
Clearly you have not actually read what I wrote.
Your article is exactly what I have been saying to people around me who are in a huge uproar about this. As an American (hoping to make aliyah), I was not offended by this ad campaign in the least, but I WAS offended by Goldberg’s article. The consequences of yeridah are real and this campaign was pointing this out to ISRAELIS. It wasn’t intended to offend Americans and wasn’t talking to someone like me, who if I married an Israeli, would be thrilled to move to Israel. I know that Israel would be more than happy to accept me, despite the fact that I am American-born….it has nothing to do with being American and it has everything to do with losing something of your culture and heritage by making a home outside of Israel. I guess I am also an archaic and chutzpadik Jew.
I disagree with you about Yom Hazikaron. Just because Memorial Day in America is for many people about barbeques and shopping does not mean all Americans are incapable of understanding the emotion of loss, and even loss in war. Even aside from Americans who have relatives who fought in wars or served in the military (and there are those – both of my grandfathers served), especially over the last decade with Iraq and Afghanistan, I assure you the boyfriend can understand and respect a day commemorating those lost in war. You think if that man had a friend whose brother died in Iraq that he wouldn’t understand his friend’s emotional state on American Memorial Day? Of course he would. I know a couple of people who have served overseas, and I know many who have relatives or friends who have served and/or died there. So why shouldn’t he be able to understand his girlfriend’s emotional state?
Does he connect exactly as she does as an Israeli? Of course not. But there’s a huge difference between that and thinking all Memorial days are for shopping. Americans are not genetically incapable of experiencing the emotion of loss, and he would be perfectly respectful of her if she would only tell him.
Of course Americans can understand loss. But I, as an American, know what it was like when I first moved to Israel and had to literally acclimate to a full understanding of what ‘Yom Hazikaron’ is in Israel. It’s not just about ‘loss.’ It’s not just about someone who died. It’s not just a memorial event. Everyone in this country and I mean EVERYONE has a friend, neighbor, relative, teacher, army buddy, parent, sibling, child – someone – or many someone’s – who were killed in the line of duty or in a terror attack. How we act on Yom Hazikaron is not something we do out of respect for the dead. It is out of deep, painful, personal feelings of loss. You may be able to explain this, as I hope I have, but you cannot expect to feel it or truly understand it unless you live it.
Kudos to the Israeli government for trying to encourage the Israelis who left Israel to come back, and kudos to you Laura for writing a ‘stinging’ rebuttal to Jeffrey Goldberg. When America tries to encourage their expatriates to return home, that’s okay, and so, too with Britain and most other countries throughout the world (unless you’re a dictatorship). Jeffrey Goldberg, like so many other Jews in America misses the big picture, and his response — “Rabbi mullahs…” and his swipes at the Netanyahu government is the response of an uninformed, infantile Jew living in the Diaspora and trying very hard to convince everyone that his decision to stay in the Diaspora is the right one. No problem. Most of the Jews are already living in Israel, and that’s because they know, are absolutely certain that the Jewish future is here. Keep up the good work Laura.
Most of the Jews are already living in Israel, and that’s because they know, are absolutely certain that the Jewish future is here. Keep up the good work Laura.
Most of the Jews are living in the diaspora. Israel has 5 million Jews. The rest of the world has 8 million Jews.
I see these ads up and down I-95 in south florida where a lot of expat israelis are living. I love the ads, as they serve as a reminder of what happens when national identity is lost.
Great response and I wholeheartedly agree!
This is not the first time that tension has been exposed between a great diasporan community and Israel. We know the great significance of Israel. We also know that there have been commnunities in the diaspora that have not only sustained Jewish life, but have contributed mightily. Today we understand the challenges of assimilation in American Jewry. Yet at the same time time great communities contributing to the vitality and creativity of the Jewish people are found. And, Israel has clearly benefitted from its thinkers and ideas.
All would benefit from the historical lessons of Alexandria and Jerusalem, Rome and Jerusalem, etc. More then that it is fair to say that without the American Jewish community,Israel would not be the secure nation it is.
I guess the question to be asked is, with the centrality of a Jewsih State, how do we live,communicate, value , absorb ideas from and understand the great value of diasporan communities.
Rabbi Steinhardt, what you say is both diplomatic and wise. It is certainly true that the great Jewish communities of Israel and the United States both support and benefit from each other and we would do well to remember this truth.
I just want to say, those ads are not only incredibly stupid, they are pretty much the most negative, evil thing I have ever seen. First of all, let’s just remember that American Jews AND Israeli Jews are both immigrant communities. In fact, there were far more Jews living in America before the Holocaust than there were in Israel. Did anyone imagine, sixty years ago, that all the Jews moving to Palestine were going to start confusing Rosh Hashanah with Ramadan? The notion is ridiculous. And the close relationship between American Jews and Israeli Jews is the only reason that Israel exists as a state today. Without American support, even now, the United Nations and the rest of the world would gladly allow Israel to be swallowed up by its numerous, hostile neighbors.
Laura, you say “something WILL get lost. Maybe now, maybe next generation, but it will happen. How many of us Americans originate from countries outside of the US? What’s left of THAT culture in our lives?” Well, as an American Jew, I have to shoot down this stupid assumption that Israeli culture is Jewish culture. Sorry, but Judaism was redefined two thousand years ago with the diaspora. Do Israeli jews sacrifice animals at the temple mount now? Is there a High Priest giving prophecies somewhere that I don’t know about? As far as I can tell, the answer to these questions is no. Israeli Jews practice the same Judaism as Jews everywhere.
Whether Jewish holidays are “overshadowed” by others’ is irrelevant. Are you saying you are a Jew because it’s popular? That if suddenly you found yourself surrounded by Hindus you would give up and start praying to Shiva? No, because that is preposterous. The fact is that what you are showing isn’t contempt for America, it is contempt for your own religion. You think Jews can’t survive in a majority Christian nation? Well, I must assume that you are either mentally disabled or simply ignorant of the last two thousand years of history.
These ads are so negative and stupid they don’t even make sense to me. Why not reach out to American Jews, instead of insulting them?
Although I never lived in Israel and I do not have current plans to move to Israel, the feeling of being an Israeli has to be something so special. With three children living there and 12 grandchildren there, I am so proud of what they all have done. Although I can’t make the move right now, I am so jealous of my kids and their families. And always remember עם ישראל חי
Good going Laura. I knew my kids picked the right neighbors!
I thought we picked them
Thanks!!
There are a couple of points that I disagree with:
Can a Jew celebrate Chanukah in America? Absolutely. But can you prevent your holiday from being overshadowed by the thoroughly national celebration of Christmas? Maybe if you live in a hole.
I do not find this to be true at all. Firstly, as you know, Chanukah is not an alternative to Christmas. It is an ancient (albeit relatively minor) Jewish holiday that is independent from any celebrations going on elsewhere. Personally, I do not see any competition – one has nothing to do with the other. So yes, my Chanukah is not “overshadowed” by anything. It is a beautiful holiday that I celebrate with family, and at synagogue..
Secondly, it is certainly possible to live in this country without “living in a hole”, and still not be overwhelmed with the “Holiday Season”. At least I do. I deal with the Gentile world regularly, and I am very much aware of the goings on around me. I have much respect for the rights of others to celebrate their holidays and follow their traditions. But I do not participate in Christmas at all, because I don’t want to. It is not my holiday. I see the decorations of course, but I don’t go to Christmas parties (if I can avoid them), don’t watch Christmas shows, etc. I manage not to get caught up in it.
One of the best parts of being an American is having freedom. That means the freedom to take part in those parts of American culture that we want, and to opt out of those we would rather pass on. Just like some people don’t like baseball, and they choose not to follow it. That’s OK. It does not make one less of an American. Some of choose not to partake of Christmas.
I also disagree vehemently with your equating marrying an American Jew with an American non-Jew. Are you serious? Yes, looking at it from the narrow focus of Aliyah and the State of Israel, I see your point – sort of. But really, marrying within the faith is keeping Jewish tradition alive, or at least maintaining an integral link to the potential of that tradition. And maybe they (or their children) will return to Israel after all. On the other hand, marrying out of the faith is a loud rejection of one’s faith, history and tradition (I realize that this last sentence may upset some of your readers, but that is how I feel.) Such a thing is also bad for Aliyah and Israel, for sure. I cannot fathom putting those two choices as different sides of the same coin. I reject that.
None of this should be taken to mean that I am in favor of yeridah. Not at all. There is definitely a loss, both privately for the persona for all of Jewry, when a Jew leaves the Holy Land for somewhere else, including the United States. There is no question that the Jewish future is in Israel, as is its destiny. That is how it should always be.
Steven, you’re right of course about a lot of what you say. Realize the main target of both the ads and much of what I said was not specifically to religious people. Don’t get me wrong – there’s plenty for religious people to take away as well. But the greatest risks of assimilation of course are for the people who do NOT send their kids to yeshivas and day schools, whose lives are basically secular in America, and they think speaking Hebrew in the home and having some symbolic celebrations a few times a year will keep their kids Israeli (i.e. Jewish). I am referring to Israeli expats, NOT to all Jews in America, but naturally a lot of this is relevant for them as well.
As for ‘equating marrying an American Jew with an American non-Jew’, I absolutely do NOT. I referred to both in that way purely because that was being discussed in other articles and comments, in fact they were saying that Israel was “warning Israelis not to marry Americans” (Jews/non-Jews, depending on where it was written). I was equating them in THAT CONTEXT ONLY, with regard to how much more likely he is not to return to Israel.
I hope this clarifies what I said.
Laura: I found your article interesting but the billboard has a condescending “flavor” about it. If I were an American who did not understand Hebrew, and I had the billboard translated for me, I would be offended by the connotation. Also, how many children of Israelis, living in the US, call their Israeli parents Mommy and Daddy? I know I am taking the message literally but my point is the children of Israeli’s living in the US are taught Hebrew with all of its expressions and nuances. They are taught their Israeli/Jewish culture to the extent that the parents want to.
As for Aliyah, I have the utmost admiration for people who make Aliyah. Thanks to the internet and Nefesh B’Nefesh, Aliyah is easier to do than ever. However, that does not mean that Israel is for every Jew. Many of us who visit Israel, despise the fact that a simple taxi cab ride becomes a confrontation as the drivers only want to turn off the meter and begin the financial rip off of the tourist. And why is this condoned? A simple regulation should be put in place. If you are caught taking a passenger off of the meter, you lose your livery license. Every taxi driver that is licensed by the government must call his base and report the the destination where he is picking up and taking the passenger. If you turn off the meter and you are caught, you lose your livery license. Plain and simple. It is human nature to look for the place where the “grass is greener.” What defines “greener” is subjective. But guilting your ex-pats at the expense of insulting American culture, is plain wrong.
Thanks Charlie. I appreciate your comments. What I’ve seen as a parent is that it is very difficult to pass every value of importance, every nuance of our culture to our children. We rely heavily on school and society for a lot of our children’s education, and not just the knowledge part. If you are looking for a specific value system, read: Jewish values, there is only one place to get that: in a Jewish environment. It’s not the parents’ fault that they cannot replicate a Jewish environment where there is none. But if it is important enough to them, they will put themselves in a Jewish environment. And I maintain there is no better, ‘more Jewish’ environment than Israel. But that’s me…
As for your second point, yes, there are some unscrupulous taxi drivers. But there are some incredible ones too. Here’s a great story as an example and there are plenty more where that came from: Kotel Cab Driver
I don’t believe anyone meant to insult American culture, and I don’t think they did. But I suppose what defines ‘insulting’ is subjective too.
I think that the billboards put up are for a good cause however everything has two sides a positive and a negative. No matter how you look at it something terrible and wonderful will come from this. I myself am not jewish I just happened to stumble upon this article and I’ve taken time to read the comments. And all I wanna say is that I wish everyone could get along.
And that no matter what the outcome. This is for the sake of keeping a belief alive. However I feel that the way its trying to be done will create two if the same religion kinda like christianity and catholicism. Well there’s my two scents. Good luck. =]
Thanks for writing Carla. ~L.
Laura,
I see your point but there is a completely different angle that I believe you missed.
http://www.amerabbica.blogspot.com/2011/12/israelis-in-exile.html
I enjoy your blog though.
Well said, and some very good points. Certainly one can be a Jew and a good Jew anywhere in the world. But I do believe that taking the same person with the same intentions toward their Jewishness and putting them in Israel or the US, it is NOT the same. Been there, done that and seen hundreds, probably thousands in the same situation. Its just not the same. Of course you can be Jewish and super religious, etc. But you are still enveloped by another religion anywhere else in the world but Israel. In Israel you are enveloped by Judaism.
I understand that Israel is scraping the ads (http://networkedblogs.com/qX4eH) – but just to comment on your blog post here, I agree that the pattern of Israelis leaving Israel for America is understandably upsetting from a Zionism/national identity perspective. However, the majority of Israelis who marry Americans are marrying American Jews. Thus, creating an ad where the child of such a marriage does not even recognize Chanukah is ludicrous, as truth be told, fewer American Jews are altogether secular than Israeli Jews! I have lot of family in Israel, and they can not fathom the idea that I go to synagogue on Pesach or Sukot, light a menorah or even manage to eat Matzah for 8 full days (the horror!) for that matter – the call me “Dati” when I’m really just “conservative” – Just as there is an embedded cultural significance to Chanukah apart from religious practice in Israel, so too (although different) is there a cultural significance to Chanukah for American Jews. The ad campaign would be far more on point to focus solely on Israeli holidays rather than Jewish ones. They ads are improperly conflating Israeli identity with Jewish identity.
I don’t think the ads were addressing intermarriage at all. That was interpretation. Simply being in a place where Christmas is so dominant, its going to slip in there. And a small child who even lights the menorah every night, but on Christmas when suddenly nothing on TV ISNT about Christmas, certainly that will have an effect. I’m not judging it, nor do I think the ad campaign was judging it. It’s just a fact.
Well, there does seem to be a relatively hostile attitude coming from Israel all the time from a wide variety of sources that American Jews are not good enough for you. (Or is it just Reform Jews you all dislike so much, but that’s what, 90% of the Jewish population in the US?). So when you consider the ads in this context, you can understand the defensive reaction.
There are so many positive aspects to making aliyah or returning home, why focus on only the negative motivations? I just loved the NBN video from last year about Hanukkah in Israel and watched it again and again. Maybe NBN should be making the ads for the Ministry of Immigration!
As an Israeli-American I feel compelled to respond……….What I and my family has lost in living in the US is priceless and in a way my family and I are regretful that we moved here. I now have a daughter with an American and I feel sad that my daughter as well as her Aba will never truly understand the significance, of not only Israel, but the Israeli experience and how special and beautiful growing up in Israel has been to me.
Laura, you are so right, living outside of Israel has certainly had it’s consequences some fairly costly. As the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors it makes me sad to see how, not only Memorial Day is celebrated, but also how Yom Hashoa is hardly noted here and I live in Boca Raton! So, maybe Chanukah is slightly overshadowed ……………my main concern are the High Holidays………if they can get as much attention as Chanukah we would be happy. I mean The High Holidays in Israel are AMAZING …..here it’s barely noticeable. So have we Israeli-Americans lost something…………..NO QUESTION, and its sad. My grandparents agreed…there’s no place like home.
And of course there’s Veterans Day, which Laura mentioned…..it is about barbecues and sales….just take a look…..how many begging Veterans did you see in the street today. Ever see one in Israel? Shameful!
My daughter calls her daddy Aba and I am Ima, for now it’s the most I can hope for……..baby steps, and hopefully one day she will get it…….but probably never the way I do.
in the hysteria of the response, the insecurity of American Jewish life is laid bare. This, rather than the campaign itself, is the real story.
Say what you will about the political wisdom, the fear-mongering, and so forth, on the part of the Israelis. The fact is, at the heart of the campaign lies a truth too painful for many American Jews to handle: That the chances of one’s grandkids ending up identifying as Jewish are indeed significantly higher in Israel than they are in the U.S. — and that this is important in thinking about our future. I really do believe that if American Jews were to step outside their own emotions for just a moment, to stop changing the subject and actually focus on the issue being raised, they’d admit that, seen from an Israeli perspective, the fear expressed in these ads is, to a large extent, quite justified.
Read more: http://blogs.forward.com/forward-thinking/147247/#ixzz1fftpRcFR
Loved this! Goldberg got it so wrong! (As have many commenters here). We made aliyah from the United States. Great country–but not where we wanted to raise our children. My husband’s ex-wife is still in the US and all of his children from that marriage intermarried, ignore Jewish holidays and celebrate Christmas, despite two of them having lived in Israel for a number of years. The overwhelmingly secular-Christian culture of the US places a huge pressure on kids to conform to the dominate culture. Christmas is just one example of that. I was a room-mother at a Reform Temple’s “sunday school class” because stepdaughter went there. One day, in a discussion of holidays, children were asked “who celebrated Passover?” (most) and “who celebrated Sukkot?” (less than half) and who celebrated Rosh Hashanah?” (most); Yom Kippur? (half) Purim (a third)…..the teacher suddenly asked, “who celebrates Christmas?” Every hand in the class went up.
This however, fails to compete with our neighbor who never celebrated anything Jewish but decked her house with lights, trees and Santas because “it’s American” or the woman who wanted to make her intermarried children happy by serving ham at Passover so the gentile spouses could have a traditional Easter dish with their matzoh….
That’s American Judaism today. Intermarriage, assimilation and ignorance. Sorry if people are outraged by the truth. Instead of waxing hotly indignant over the ugly truths contained in Israeli ads aimed at Yoredim, get off your sanctimonious high-horse and try channeling your energies into saving your own communities.